My Destiny is Not About Me

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37:4

It seems that I am seeing some of my dreams and desires happening right now in this season of my life.

 How many years have I sang (sing, sang, sung?) the songs: "Here am I Lord.  Take my hands and take my voice and use me Lord" and "I will go Lord where you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart."  And I spoke words of surrender:  "I am willing to be the woman you want me to be". 

A couple of years ago, I got serious about being prepared for anything God called me to do.  I studied out scripture and things like "Who am I in Christ" and "What is the Kingdom of God" and "What does it mean to have favor".  I journaled all I learned and all God spoke to me, as a written reminder. I learned to sign to songs.  And I learned to enjoy His Presence.

As a young teen, I felt a drawing from God to be more than just a pew sitter.  I walked an aisle and "surrendered my life to special service" - whatever that meant - even though I didn't really surrender my heart until many years later.  When as a young tired, timid, fearful mom, I led myself through the salvation prayer, told God I'd gone where he wanted me to go and immediately saw myself standing before people.  I remember saying to God, "Well, Ok.  But you'll have to do it".  Since then my love and passion has been studying the Word - I was like Jeremiah, "When I found your words, I ate them" and I so enjoy leading ladies Bible Studies. There have also been times, maybe even years, when I thought that God surely must be finished with me and could never use me again. 

BUT GOD.

 But God had a plan.  Here I am now, 1300 miles from home, 99 miles from the Canadian border, in North Dakota.  I am so humbled by the favor I have here.  And He's given me the boldness that I have been asking for and favor I didn't ask for.  I went to a Community Ladies Bible study and have been asked to lead one of the discussion groups.  I am attending another study in the small town where I live, where 5 precious widow ladies are learning to study the Bible.  I've found that the laundromat is a great place for witness opportunities.  I've prayed for healing for a woman in a bar where she was being blessed with a fundraiser and I've prayed for other people in unlikely places.  I'm volunteering at the Salvation Army and have been offered a job there.  I've visited churches in Williston searching for a place to worship and be fed.  One Sunday morning, I asked God where I should go.  He clearly said, "If you are going to walk the streets of Alexander and pray for revival, you need to go to church here."  So I have been attending the Nazarene Church and have been asked to sfill in for the Sunday School teacher for the next 4 weeks.  God is doing above and beyond all I could ever think or imagine.  It is so much fun!

When I look at that last paragraph, I see lots of "I" and "me", but I know that my destiny is not and will never be about me.  I don't know exactly what my purpose is here, besides making disciples, but I am scattering  seeds of faith, love, hope, healing, and the Word. 

Hallelujah!

God is so good!