September 11, 1996

Ted tore the date off the calendar, folded it, and put it in his pocket.  It was September 11, 1996.  We were in an intensive care cubicle where we had been saying our goodbyes to Heather.  She was gone. She was just a few weeks away from 19 and had so many hopes, dreams, and plans for a normal life.  But her body could not fight the infections brought on by Cystic Fibrosis.

 I can hardly believe it's been this long. She is so clear in my heart, but also very foggy.  I don't let myself dwell long on those memories, but because of other tragic 9/11 events, we'll always have a reminder.  Her life was often difficult for her as well as the rest of us.  But we were so blessed by her life. So very blessed. The memories flash through my head like an out of sequence slide show and I can't focus on just one image.  The bring a mix of emotions.

I do know that we'll never have answers to the reasons, but I do know the one who has loved me, matured me, taught me and loved me some more through the years.  Learning to lean on Jesus because of the challenges of the disease, made me who I am today.  I could have never made it without HIM. 

I only have one picture of Heather on my computer.  This photo of her and Holly was taken in an Old Time Photo Shop in Jackson Hole Wyoming when she was about 8, full of life and excitement.  Holly was 12.  Aren't they beauties?

Sometimes when I am most lonely for her, I dream about her.  I wake feeling content that we have been together.  I wonder if she'll be in my dreams tonight.......